


his sunshine

by starconches



Category: Kingdom Hearts (Video Games)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys In Love, But it Feels So Good, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Kairi & Riku & Sora Friendship (Kingdom Hearts), M/M, Riku Is Bad at Feelings (Kingdom Hearts), Riku Loves Sora (Kingdom Hearts), riku is too gay to function, why does loving your best friend have to hurt so much?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-12
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-20 06:15:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,224
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30000540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starconches/pseuds/starconches
Summary: "you are my sunshine, my only sunshine,you make me happy when skies are gray.you'll never know dear, how much I love you,please don't take my sunshine away.you told me once, dear, you really loved meand no one else could come between.but now you've left me to love another;you have shattered all of my dreams."(or: riku pines for sora)
Relationships: Kairi & Riku (Kingdom Hearts), Kairi & Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Kairi/Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Riku & Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Riku/Sora (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 16





	his sunshine

Riku hates the way that Sora looked at Kairi.  
  
He hates it because it wasn't the way that he looked at _him._ He hates how his heart twists in envy every time he sees them together. He hates how he clenches his fists, fights back tears, and walks away. He hates it when they held hands, because- what if it was himself? What if he was there holding Sora's hand instead of Kairi? What if _he_ was the one that Sora spent most of his time with? 

He tried not to think about it much. After all, who was he to intervene in Sora's happiness? Sora deserved the best. And who was Riku?

He was broken. He fought with his darkness. He was far from perfect. 

And yet, Sora was everything and more. To Riku, Sora _was_ perfect.

Sora could do better.

Sora can do better than Riku. And, he does. He has Kairi. Kairi, with the short red hair that reaches her shoulders. Kairi, with the soft smile. Kairi, with the perfect pink clothes, and the sweetest voice. Kairi, with the purest heart that isn't clouded with darkness. Kairi, who was perfect. Not as perfect as Sora, but enough. Enough for Sora to love. Unlike Riku. 

As he sits on the beach, watching the sun set, he realizes that he never even had a chance. 

And yet, he still hopes.

The scar that he wore on his heart was far bigger than any other scar he had on his body. It hurt so much more, and unlike the others, it never went away. 

Every time he thinks the feeling has went away, he takes one look at Sora, and falls in love all over again. It's happened over, and over, and over again- so much so, that he's used to it. 

If he was used to it, then why does it still make his heart break whenever Sora calls out for her name instead of his?

He's sure that this hurts way _way_ more than any hit he has taken while fighting as a Keyblade Master. 

When Riku was a few years younger than this, he could easily just push the feeling away. They were just best friends. And Sora likes Kairi way more, so why does it matter? Back then, he was fine with just being Sora's best friend. Because, back then, Sora didn't make his heart jolt in the way does it does now. Back then, he was happier. There was no darkness. There was no worry in the world back then. They didn't have to care about saving worlds, and fighting with large keys- and Riku didn't have to think about he much he loves Sora. 

But he wasn't 14 anymore. He was 17, turning 18, and he was in love with his best friend. 

Riku shouldn't complain. He was lucky to be in Sora's life anyway.

* * *

"Riku!" Sora called out. He could recognize that voice anywhere. The soft melodic tones of his voice, and the way he said his name- 

"World to Riku! Hello? Are you there?" 

Before he knew it, Sora's face was hanging in front of his. Their faces were so close. He moved back quickly in fear that he would have a heart attack then and there. Riku blinked, and Sora looked concerned for a moment. "A-ah! Sora. What do you need?" Riku asked, only now realizing that he actually had to _talk_ like a normal human being. Great. Now, Sora's going to think that there's something wrong with him. Nice going, Riku.

Instead of being awkwardly backing out of the conversation, like Riku expected him to do, Sora took a seat next to him in the sand. Right next to him, so that their shoulder's touched.

Riku stiffed up. How long has it been since the last time Sora had been _this_ close to him? He couldn't remember.

"Munny for your thoughts?" Sora asked, holding out a piece of gold out to Riku. His gaze was soft, and curious. One that Sora never shared with him. Riku had almost melted. He quickly looked away from Sora's face. 

"It's nothing, really. I'm just.. thinking about someone. They've been on my mind all day." Riku muttered, staring and the sand. 

Destiny Islands always had the softest sand, and by far the warmest. Just sitting down on it felt like home. He ran his fingers through the sand slowly, pointedly ignoring Sora's gaze.

"Really? Who is it? Riku! C'mon, you've got to tell meee." Sora whined, now pouting and gently shaking Riku. It was enough to draw a chuckle out of him. 

"Nothing that a sap like _you_ need to know." Riku turned, and poked Sora's abdomen, which resulted in a giggle from Sora. It made Riku smile.

"You're so mean! I thought you were my best friend! Aren't you supposed to tell me _everything?_ " Sora asked, with his arms crossed now. His pout never went away. Riku thought it was incredibly cute. Sora never failed to make Riku happy.

"Nope!" Riku teased, popping the p. "Aren't you supposed to be back home? It's your bed time, after all." Riku inquired with the raise of his brow, looking over at their home island across the sea from Destiny Islands. 

"I'm _not_ a _baby_ Riku! I don't have a bed time. I sleep whenever I _want_ to." Sora exclaimed, flailing his arms about. Riku laughed again. Sora seemed offended, but he was also smiling.

"Whatever, Sora. It's not like you don't sleep with your stuffed animals anymore.."

"They're _soft_ , Riku! You don't understand."

"Yeah, I don't. Because, I much rather have you in my arms." Riku mumbled to himself, the sentence slipping out of his mouth before he knew it.

"What?"

"Nothing!"

Sora looked at him with his eyes widened, and oh god- did he just mess up? But then Sora looked away, and Riku quickly stood up. What was he doing? Why did he think he could talk to Sora like this?

"I'm going to go back home, Sora. Good night." Riku muttered, and he winced at how cold his words seemed.

"Wait! Riku!" Sora grabbed onto his wrist, and Riku's heart almost jumped out of his chest. "Can.. can you take me home? I don't want to go home alone."

What..?

Sora wanted.. Riku to.. take him home?

"Where's Kairi? Don't you usually bring her home?" Riku asked, and Sora shook his head.

"She went home alone today. I- I wanted to talk to you tonight. I saw you sitting on the beach- and it seemed like you needed company, so.."

Riku was stunned. Sora wanted to talk to _him_. Sora noticed him alone, and he wanted to keep him company. _Sora.._

Riku had no idea what to say.

"W-well, then I have no other choice than to take you home, do I?" Riku concluded after a long pause, and Sora's eyes lit up. 

"Yay! Thank you, Riku!" Sora was.. smiling at him. No- grinning at him. A sense of warmth washed over Riku. 

He chuckled nervously. "N-no problem, Sora!" 

They stood still, neither of them making a move. "So.. are we gonna go, or are we gonna sleep here tonight?" Sora asked, and Riku's head started working again.

"Right! Yeah. We have to take a boat home.." Riku nodded quickly, and started walking. His legs felt like jelly, and if it weren't for Sora's hand on his wrist, he would've collapsed.

* * *

They both clambered out of the boat, with Riku going first. They were quiet all the way there, and it was _really_ awkward. Sora was staring at Riku's biceps as he rowed the boat, and Riku had almost flipped them over because he was nervous. 

Both of them walked beside each other in silence. While Sora was focused on the path ahead of them, Riku was busy staring at Sora. 

Sora, who looked so pretty in the moonlight. Sora, whose hand was so soft compared to his calloused ones. Sora, who made Riku, someone who fought through literal hell, melt into nervous puddle.

Sora's eyes moved from the path, and were now focused at Riku. "What are you looking at me for? Do I have something on my face?" He asked, moving a hand to go check, but Riku quickly grabbed Sora's hand, and pushed it away from his face. Sora looked surprised, but he didn't take Riku's hand off of his.

"No! No.. there's nothing on your face. You look great! Ah- just don't worry about it. It's okay." Riku said quickly. They both blushed as their fingers touched, and looked away from each other.

What surprised Riku the most, was what Sora did next. Sora intertwined their fingers.

What- what the hell?

They were holding hands. And Sora was staring at him.

Fuck.

Shit.

 _Fuck_.

What was this feeling?!

"Riku.. you've been tense all night. What's going on?" Sora asked, squeezing his hand. He looked incredibly concerned. "Is this about that person you were talking about earlier?" Riku's eyes went to their shoes.

He couldn't even take it anymore. His heart was beating fast, and he felt way too hot for comfort.

"Sora.." Riku whispered. He was fighting back tears. No. He couldn't tear up in front of Sora. He couldn't break down.

Sora then grabbed onto Riku's other hand, and squeezed. "Riku.. you can tell me anything. I'm here for you. You're my best friend."

Those words..

Best friend. Riku would never be anything other than Sora's best friend. A small tear ran down his cheek. It burned. Sora gasped.

Riku couldn't hold it in anymore. His chest hurt with every breath that he took. More tears fell down his face, followed by even _more_. Sora pulled him into a tight hug. He was surprised. Riku had never cried in front of him. Never. 

He was shaking so much, and crying so much- he couldn't stop. Sora was whispering comforting words, and rubbing his back, but that made him cry even _more_. Small, quiet sobs that you could barely hear. Even though it was dead silent in the town. 

Sora then reached up, and wiped the tears from his face. "Don't cry.. please don't cry.." Sora mumbled, and Riku leaned into his hand. "You're _strong_ Riku. It's okay. Whatever it is, I know it's okay. You can get through it, and i'll help you. We'll get you through it. Together. You and Me." 

Riku stopped crying, and the world stopped right there. He didn't stop the words that flooded out of his mouth next. "Sora.." he choked. "I love you.. you mean everything to me. But you love somebody else. And.. you're happy with her. You're really happy with her. And I shouldn't complain- because I have you as my best friend. And why would I need you for anything else? I'm so selfish.. so so selfish. I shouldn't love you the way I do. You deserve so much more than me. And you have that person. And she's perfect for you. But that doesn't stop how I feel whenever you look at her the way that you do. And it hurts. It hurts _a lot._ " Riku rambled, and Sora listened, as still a stone.

"Y-you.. you love me?" Sora asked, stupidly. And Riku wanted to hit something. How dare Sora not realize that he's so _fucking_ perfect? And how Riku would do _anything_ to keep him safe? Even if it resulted in his own demise?

"How can you be so _damn_ oblivious?! Of course I love you, Sora!" Riku said, as he violently wiped away his tears. He couldn't believe that he actually just confessed.

"I love you too."

...

Was he dreaming? 

Did.. Sora actually say that he loved him back?

"Wait. What?" He asked, his eyes widened in surprise. 

"I. Love. You. Too." Sora said, slowly, word by word. Yet, Riku still couldn't register it.

Riku didn't say anything, so Sora rolled his eyes, leaned up, and pressed his lips against his.

Once again, the world stopped. Riku almost passed out. It was so unreal- Sora was _actually_ kissing him. It took him a while, but as soon as Sora was about to pull away, Riku chased his lips and kissed him back. This was everything he had ever wanted and more. 

After the kiss, the both of them held each other tightly. And that's when realization dawned on Riku.

That, Sora could be scared too. That, maybe, all those looks that Sora made to Kairi weren't real. That- maybe, they were meant for _him._ And that all those times he saw Sora with Kairi, was just because they were best friends too, and he was too stupidly jealous to notice.

The look on Sora's face said it all.

Riku then pushed Sora away playfully. "You dipshit! You didn't tell me sooner?! How could you? All of this time, I've been a nervous wreck, and for _what_?" Riku yelled, but it was obvious he wasn't mad. Riku was smiling- no, grinning for the first time in a long while.

Because of that, a shit eating grin crept onto Sora's face. He stuck his tongue out. "You'll have to catch me to find out!" He called out, and started booking it down the path, with Riku close behind him. 

After that, the world seemed just a little bit brighter than before.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm so sorry for making riku sad but.. look, he's happy now! :D  
> feel free to leave any comments, and follow me on twt @bisexualsora


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